Like Roger said, "Our sex life was good, but not a lot of fireworks." Our life went on like this till our boys were both teenagers, then I felt I wasn't as needed as much.Then it happened, I turned 40 yrs.old. Roger and the boys threw me a big surprise party. On one side of the coin, I was so happy that they thought about me and gave me this big party. Lots of relatives and friends came in from out of town just to help me celebrate the big 4-0! They rented a hall and even had a band coming in to play. Lots of food and drink, it was really special.On the flip side of the coin, I just turned 40! I felt old, when I looked in the mirror I saw an old lady, life more then half over, not as attractive as I once was. Of course anyone ever having attended one of these parties knows the birthday recipient gets tons of gag gifts for the old lady. I was smiling on the outside and crying on the inside.That evening I put on my best face for my family. My husband and sons put on the best party they. ." He concurred."If I didn't have my little Declan I would have come looking for you years ago. That's how long I've known. Don't let that scare you." She said as she absently ran her hand down over his stomach to the front of his pants."It scares me that I was so happy at one time with Barbie and then we drifted apart. I always blamed her, maybe it was me searching for you, like ... subconsciously." He said before becoming aware of her hand."I'm searching for you now. Don't think I'm bad, I just want and need you so much. Matt and I had a wild sex life with me trying to keep him happy and me trying to deny I still wanted and needed you. Divorce was shame and I didn't want that. I hate to admit this, but if you hadn't ended up in the sports news on the day you did, I would have screwed a total stranger that afternoon. A woman alone at a cocktail bar at lunch hour draws a lot of attention from dirtball businessmen." She said resting her head on his chest as she turned doe eyed looking.
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